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Banana slander

Alright, listen up cause Im tired of pretending. I'm sick of going along with a lie.

Slightly green bananas beat out slightly brown bananas ANY day. Hell, I think I even prefer slightly green bananas over pure yellow ones! And I'm tired of pretending otherwise.

All my life, I go to get a good banana and they're slightly brown, they got all those nasty brown freckles and while I'm cringing through the banana eating experience one of my friends would be like "I love slightly over ripe bananas! This is the perfect banana!" and I have to act like I'm not sitting among PSHYCOPATHS.

Brown freckled bananas taste like satans baby food. They're mushy and weird, the texture is like if wet sand was trying to be cream cheese and also wanted to murder you. The taste is like someone dipped a green banana in dishwater. Brown freckled bananas are so nasty, so so nasty!

But slightly green bananas? Heaven. The texture is firm, solid, breaks in solid pieces in your mouth instead of disintegrating acid on your tongue. It's got the same texture I imagine gold would have if you could eat the gold in cartoons, y'know? And the flavor? Atherial. It tastes clean, crisp, it covers your palette. Its GLORIOUS!

I genuinely do not understand how any one, any one single person, can prefer brown bananas over green ones. It makes no sense. Are you guys possessed??

VIVA LA GREEN BANANA

Over and out! -Rustydiamonds